I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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