woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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