We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
