Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
