she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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