OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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