Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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