I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
