Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
