I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
