i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
