U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
