3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
