I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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