I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
