No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
