I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
