i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
COCAINE IS GR8
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
