hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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