things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
