Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
