Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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