I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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