Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
