They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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