God, you're like boner-b-gone
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
