Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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