Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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