i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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