Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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