Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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