So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
