I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
