i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
