dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
