I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
