Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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