kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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