Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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