Where did you get a picture of my penis
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
