It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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