I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
