Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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