I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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