Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I look better un-naked...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
