Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
