I hope mine doesn't look like that
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
