Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
