Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
