the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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